Марсианский Олень
I am definitely inevitable
Rachel: Oh... [opens it]... [sees the brooch] Oh my God. He remembered.
Phoebe: Remembered what?
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Chandler: Well, sure, but can you play it on a plane? [pats his Travel Scrabble game]
Phoebe: Oh, it's so pretty. This must have cost him a fortune.
Monica: I can't believe he did this.
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?

Chandler: I reject anyone who's crazy enough to actually go out with me, and then I bitch about the fact that there aren't any great women out there.
Rachel: Chandler, you have just described virtually every man that we have ever gone out with.
Monica: You're not a freak, you're a guy.

Chandler: All right, check out this bad boy. Twelve megabytes of RAM, 500 megabyte hard drive. Built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS.
Phoebe: Wow. What are you gonna use it for?
Chandler: Games and stuff.

Ross: I don't know what I'm gonna do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.
Chandler: Oh, I know, this must be so hard. "Oh no, two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties AND MY DIAMOND SHOES ARE TOO TIGHT."

Chandler: Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?
Rachel: I don't know. Who would I have to sleep with?
Chandler: Me.
Rachel: Why would I have to sleep with you?
Chandler: It's my game. You want the job or not?

Joey: It just seems so futile, you know? All these women... and nothing. I feel like Superman without my powers, you know? I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly.
Chandler: Well, now you understand how I feel every single day, okay? The world is my lesbian wedding.

Susan: You want to dance?
Ross: No, that's fine.
Susan: Come on. I'll let you lead.
Ross: Okay.

Chandler: (About Eddie) So, when I woke up this morning, he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes.
Monica: Why?
Chandler: Because he thinks I slept with his ex-girlfriend, and killed his fish.
Phoebe: Why would you kill his fish?
Chandler: Because sometimes, Phoebe, after you sleep with someone... you have to kill a fish.

Chandler: (entering with his ringing phone) Joe. Joe! Answer the phone.
Joey: Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater.
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Rachel: What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice?
Chandler: Okay, last night at dinner, when the meals came, she put half her chicken piccata on my plate and took my tomatoes.
Ross: And that's bad because..., you hate chicken piccata?
Chandler: Noo.
Ross: You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.
Chandler: No, it's like all of the sudden, we were this couple. And this alarm started going off in my head: 'Run for your life! Get out of the building!'
Rachel: Men are unbelievable.
Monica: What is it with you people! I mean, the minute you start to feel something, you have to run away?
Chandler: I know, that, that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.
Monica: Oh, you mean like that guy thing where you act mean and distant until you get us to break up with you.
Joey: Hey, you know about that?!

[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s, Chandler is sitting on the couch watching TV as Monica comes out of the bathroom.]
Monica: (airily) Hi.
Chandler: Are you, are you high?
Monica: I just had the most amazing bath.
Chandler: Really? I don’t like baths.
Monica: Wait, you like them with me.
Chandler: Honey, it’s not the bath I enjoy, it’s the wet, naked lady.

p.s. они прекрасны.

@настроение: господи, дай пережить эту сессию

@темы: stuff for housewives

2012-05-07 в 12:23 

лен, а можешь пожалуйста первые три перевести?

2012-05-07 в 17:20 

Марсианский Олень
I am definitely inevitable
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Unnecessary commentary of video games is what I’m here for